you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
