I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
