i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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