note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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