That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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