My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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