soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
