i think i scared a bird with my dick
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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