Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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