office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
