So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
