i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
pray to the hookup gods
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
