Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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