people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
