Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
