I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
