you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
