You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
