True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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