Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
