That's intense
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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