North Korea, Best Korea!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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