I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
