It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
