so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
