Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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