Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
