Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
