i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
3pm strippers are depressing
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize