i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's just like the Real World with babies
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
