at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
