Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
