The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
