The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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