just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
