i just wanna soil my oats bro
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
