so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
