fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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