Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
