Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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