I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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