You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
