i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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