it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
