I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
