then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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