i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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