just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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