OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
