I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
