you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
