NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
