Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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