she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
