Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
