check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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