There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
