We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
