You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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